And here I thought Seattle was such a clean and neat city.

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Hope he enjoys using his head as a roll bar.

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Flipping out and going on your shooting spree in your workplace is kind of an extreme reaction to being told to wear safety goggles, don't you think?

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A kick like that will ruin anybody's day.

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If I'd been allowed to ride on top of the school bus instead of in it, maybe those asshole kids wouldn't have picked on me all the time.

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Here's a thought, try not standing next to a tall tree during a thunderstorm next time.

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When you have a jet ski but no lake, you have to improvise.

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Whoever wins, they actually both lose.

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Getting your face run over by your buddy has to suck.

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My bus tour of the Swiss Alps got screwed up by a bunch of farmers driving their cows down the road, so I know that this sort of thing just happens in Europe.

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You can't really call it an Unidentified Flying Object if you know it's a skateboard and it's coming at your face.

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He's still better off than that poor dude that got bull-horn-fucked in the ass.

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I would never rollerblade or skateboard without a titanium cup.

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Being a tranny probably didn't help him out much here.

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Leave it to Japan to make demolition neat and efficient and take all the exploding fun out of it.

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It's probably better to just get the casing in you instead of what it was originally holding.

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Apparently this knife has a CO2 cartridge in it that releases when you stab it into something, making it explode and freezing stuff the gas contacts. I can finally get a +3 Frost Burst dagger now!

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Next time I invite someone over to my house, I'm totally gonna glue their shoes to the floor.

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A team of identical twins confuses the hell out of some people on a train.

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Wait, I thought all Mexicans wore silly wrestling costumes to fights?

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